Have you had a serious fight with your boyfriend, and now you wish you could get him back? There are numerous reasons why men and women have disagreements, some of them might seem justified, while others are simply petty or silly. Fortunately, it is possible to get him back after a break up if you’re willing to do the work. This means you’re likely going to have to be the first one to reach out and initiate some type of resolution. This can be scary because you’re making yourself vulnerable to rejection; however, it is also an important factor in actually being able to get your ex back.
You see, regardless of why you were fighting, even if it was something serious, the moment one of you decided that the relationship was over, you lost all ability to effectively communicate. In order to heal from whatever hurts were caused by the argument or someone’s callous behavior, you must be able to talk about it and hear each other’s point of view.
When you’re dating, it might seem that disagreements are a part of life, but it doesn’t have to be that way. When you’re just getting to know each other, it’s definitely important to be open and honest, but you also have to take the other person’s point of view and feelings into consideration. There’s no reason to continually bring up every ex-boyfriend you’ve ever had, and you certainly never want to do any comparing. Even if you’re comparing two old boyfriends, how do you think the new man in your life is going to feel? Do you think he might become uncomfortable or a little concerned that he might be the next one you’re talking about when you move on to a new love interest?
This same type of compassion and caring must be used when you’re attempting to get back your ex. Try and put yourself in his position. If you’ve said or done something that you know has hurt his feelings or made him feel awful about himself, it’s time to own up to your mistake. If you cheated on him, there’s certainly going to be hurt feelings as well as a lack of trust. It’s important to know what you’re up against if you want to have any chance of being able to get your boyfriend back.
Cheating can be one of the hardest things for a couple to get over. It’s a betrayal that runs so deep that many people think that they just won’t be able to get past it. While the initial shock and hurt will certainly make most people feel this way, chances are you will be able to get your boyfriend back, but it’s going to take plenty of communication and understanding.
One of the first things you’re going to need to do is to make sure that you are able to calmly and honestly express your regret at having made such a horrendous mistake. Don’t try and place blame on your boyfriend with things like, … “you never take me anywhere” or “you never seem to have time for me.” These are just excuses and they certainly aren’t going to help you win favor with your ex-boyfriend. Instead, realize that there were probably other factors that brought you into the arms of another person. Maybe you didn’t feel loved by your boyfriend or maybe you were jealous. A lot of times it’s because of the way that new love interest makes you feel. You need to understand this and take ownership of your lack of judgement.
Your boyfriend might not be willing to simply take “I’m sorry,” and move on with the relationship. You’ll generally need to repeatedly show him that you are a changed person who is truly remorseful for your past behaviors. Talk to him about how you can rebuild the trust you once had with him. Acknowledge that you realize you betrayed him in a way that will be difficult to forget, but also let him know that it is a mistake that will never happen again.
Your ex might need a little time to work through his feelings, but if you are not too pushy, and you continue to show him how much you care, without going overboard, you have a chance at getting him back. You’ll need to not push him too hard, let him process each new day, but be there when he’s ready to talk. Let him have some space, but don’t just leave him alone and act like you no longer care. It’s a fine line between being caring and compassionate, and being smothering or overbearing.
In addition to keeping communication open, you might even want to ask him if he is willing to go to couple’s counseling with you. Even if he’s not, you can go on your own. Let him know that you are working on improving yourself so that you don’t fall into the same trap again in the future.Top